Do What You Have To Do
by James McConnor
Summary: Updated after a year and a half! It's a new record! Sakura tries to get some answers, and Tomoyo takes a little trip...
1. A Simple Song

Hey everyone, this is my first Card Captor Sakura fic, so be gentle :)  
Kind of a songfic type of thing, based on Sarah Mclachlan's 'Do What You Have To Do',   
although I think it'd be cool to continue it somehow.  
  
For reference, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran are 23.  
  
Anyway, enjoy!  
  
Do What You Have To Do  
  
"Tomoyo-chan?"  
Tomoyo gazed at her emerald eyed best friend. "Hai, Sakura-chan?"  
"I...I'd really, really like it if you could sing at my wedding."  
Tomoyo smiled. "I was hoping you would ask...I have a wonderful song I'd like to sing for you, but would you mind if it was in English?"  
Sakura knew Tomoyo had been studying English while she attended college. "No, that's fine! No matter what language it is, your voice is always beautiful!"  
"Arigatou, Sakura-chan..."  
  
Several months later...  
  
Sakura giggled deliriously as she wiped the smeared cake off of her new husband's face. Syaoran, of course, was blushing furiously, although he couldn't help but smile as well. "The Mistress of the Cards as my wife...I'm the luckiest man alive!" he thought.  
"Alright everyone," Sakura shouted, making herself heard above the festive atmosphere of the wedding reception, "please sit down and be quiet!" After her guests complied, Sakura smiled, and continued. "My best friend is going to grace us with a song in her beautiful voice!" Sakura smiled happily as she sat down. Today was most definitely the best day of her life.  
Tomoyo stepped quietly and gracefully onto the stage prepared for her, lavender gown flowing gently behind her. With her long, lavender hair laced in ribbons, she evoked more than a few stares, as well as whistles, from the young men in the crowd. Sakura furiously shushed them.  
"This...is for you." Tomoyo whispered into the microphone. Nodding briefly at the pianist, she took a deep breath, and...  
  
"What ravages of spirit...conjured this temptuous rage?"  
"Created you a monster...broken by the rule of love?"  
"And fate has led you through it...you do what you have to do."  
"And fate has led you through it...you do what you have to do."  
  
Tomoyo, who had her eyes closed up to this point, opened them slightly, her gaze never leaving Sakura's eyes.  
  
"And I had the sense to recognize...but I don't know how to let you go."  
"Every moment marked...with apparitions of your soul."  
  
Her arms left the microphone, and she gently caressed the silk bow on her chest with her hands.  
  
"I'm ever swiftly moving...trying to escape this design."  
"The yearning to be near you...I do what I have to do."  
"The yearning to be near you...I do what I have to do."  
  
Tomoyo slowly stretched her arms out, palms facing in Sakura's direction. Her eyes began to water, so she closed them once more.  
  
"And I had the sense to recognize...that I don't know how to let you go."  
"I don't know how to let you go."  
  
Clutching the microphone once more, her shoulders visibly shook, and she hung onto the microphone harder, as if it were the only thing keeping her from collapsing.  
  
"Glowing embers, burning hot...and burning slow."  
"Deeper than I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you."  
  
Tomoyo's voice broke when she reached the word 'violence'. Her knees seemed to buckle, and a few tears escaped the prison of her eyes. Sakura was immobilized by the sheer emotion in her best friend's voice. "What could she sing about that would make her so upset?" she wondered, still entranced by the song. She was silently thankful she remembered to record it.  
  
"I know I can't be with you...I do what I have to do."  
"I know I can't be with you...I do what I have to do."  
  
After a deep breath, Tomoyo was able to steady herself, as she forced a small smile, before finishing.  
  
"And I had the sense to recognize...but I don't know how to let you go."  
"But I don't know how to let you go."  
  
Gazing into Sakura's eyes through her own tear stained ones, Tomoyo brought her voice down to almost a whisper.  
  
"I don't know how to let you go..."  
  
Tomoyo closed her eyes and just stood on the stage. No one said a word. No one moved. After a few minutes, people started clapping.   
Sakura looked at her best friend, and saw, once again, the same smile she always had. For reasons she couldn't understand, she found herself sobbing quietly.  
Syaoran put a comforting arm around his wife. "Sakura, are you alright?"  
"Hai, I'm fine..."Sakura sniffed. She looked up, and saw Tomoyo standing in front of her, a sympathetic smile on her face.  
"Sakura-chan mustn't cry, this is a happy day!" She took Syaoran's hand, and Sakura's, and placed them together, saying, "I know, with all of my heart, that the two of you will be happy together."  
"Tomoyo-chan..." Sakura ventured, "what about that song made you cry?"  
Tomoyo's eyes glazed over for a moment; however, she smiled once again, and replied, with a wink, "I'll tell you...when you're older, Sakura-chan."  
Touya, still mildly against the wedding, sat with Yuki near the back of the reception area, and he couldn't help but whisper to Yuki, "She's the only one I would trust...to make Sakura happy."  
"What do you mean, To-ya?" Yuki asked, not understanding what he meant.  
Touya sighed. Was he the only other one at the reception besides Tomoyo who knew English?  
  
The End?  
Well, as you can see, I'm a blatant S+T fan ^^ Although I will admit that I only had to beat myself into a state of semi-delerium in order to write the S+S happy wedding moment XD Anyway, think it's good the way it is? Think I should continue? Think I should be kept away from a computer for the rest of my life? XD  
  
James McConnor 


	2. Mother and Daughter

Welp, something just struck me, so I just had to continue this. Sorry if it's boring or bad or whatever, but I really really really enjoy writing this! Also, sorry if some chapters are short...I don't really know what a good length for them is, and I often just wanna get it updated again as fast as possible, because I know how much it tears at me when someone writes a story I like and they take forever to upate it...it's nerve wracking ^^;; So, yeah, I have no idea at all where this is going...but that's not gonna stop me ;)  
  
Do What You Have To Do - Part 2  
  
Sonomi Daidouji sighed as she stared out the window of her bedroom. The rain silently complemented the overcast sky as she mused over the events of the past week.  
"Tomoyo will never be the same..." she sighed. Every night this past week leading up to the wedding, Tomoyo was buried in wedding preparations. However, every night she would come home, and cry for several hours in her mother's arms. It was all Sonomi could do to just hold her daughter close and try to take some of the hurting from her heart.  
Then, as if nothing had happened, Tomoyo would arise the next morning, a cheerful smile on her face, and yet another imperceptibly cracked mask. "Maybe, maybe now...she can do away with her masks. Whatever it takes..." Sonomi thought relievedly. "She needs a distraction now...something to get her life moving in a different direction."  
Sonomi had long ago considered leaving her business to her daughter; however, she knew that Tomoyo did not have the business savvy and 'killer instinct' that she possessed. No, she would fit in better somewhere else.  
Sighing yet again, the auburn haired woman reached over to a bouqet of flowers on her dresser, and held them close. Inhaling the sweet fragrance, she murmured a prayer, "Mmm...Nadeshiko...please, guard my darling daughter's precious, fragile heart. She keeps her emotions inside all too much, and I can see that it's tearing her apart. Please...find a way to give her the rest her heart so desperately cries out for..." In a very un-businesslike fashion, Sonomi curled into a fetal position, bouqet clutched to her chest, and sobbed quietly, until the dreariness of the afternoon lulled her to sleep.  
  
Tomoyo took a deep breath as she rode home in the limousine. Eyes stained with tears, her mind went to the only place it was capable of going to after she was crushed by her feelings. "Sakura's happiness is what's most important...nothing else matters. Sakura will be happy with her Li-kun, happier than I could ever have made her. Besides, maybe she really did know how I felt, but she didn't feel the same way! That would be just like Sakura, to not want to hurt me." Tomoyo gripped the seatbelt that protected her. "But...what do I do now? What do I do about Sakura? Do I have a right to even be a part of her life any more? With Li-kun in her life, she doesn't need me any more..."  
Tomoyo screamed as loudly as she could, beating the car seat with her fists, legs wildly kicking, almost in a temper tantrum. Thankful for the soundproof glass between her and the driver, Tomoyo unbuckled her seatbelt and lay down across the seat. "I...I'm tired. I...don't know...if I can be happy without...Sakura in my life. But...I don't know." Lavendar eyes, cracked and dulled by years of repressed emotions, freely dispensed tears once more...yet, they were tears of a different sort. Not tears of sadness because of rejection or loneliness. "I've spent my entire life crying those tears...if Sakura doesn't need me any more...then I should leave. Somewhere...anywhere...for her..." Tomoyo stopped. Was she still doing things for Sakura? "I don't know...I can't not do this for Sakura...but...I'm tired...so tired..."  
With that, the young woman, who had cried so many tears for her beloved best friend, lay in silence, trying desperately to picture her doing something she had never done before. Something not for Sakura. Something...for herself...  
  
"I guess even kaijuus deserve to be happy." Touya grinned.  
Out of pure habit, Sakura mashed his foot with hers, earning a groan from Touya. "Onii-chan...thank you for always being there for me...even with all the 'kaijuus'..." Sakura grinned as she embraced her brother.  
Touya motioned towards Li as he spoke. "I hope he can make you the happiest girl...woman...on Earth."  
"I know we'll be happy together!" Sakura replied, a bit hurt that Touya still didn't trust her husband completely.  
"Right...well...I'll feel a little better about that after I've had some 'words' with him..." Touya grinned.  
"Now, To-ya...be nice." Yuki smiled.  
Sakura grinned as well. "Kaijuus don't know how to be nice!"  
Touya almost fell over in surprise. She had called him a..a...  
"Seems like you've finally grown up, Sakura. Maybe...maybe I can stop watching out for you..." Touya admitted.  
"Onii-chan...thank you." Sakura replied as she embraced her brother once more.  
Touya couldn't help but think, "But I'm always gonna have my eye on that gaki, as well as..."  
"Onii-chan...there's something I want to ask you...but not here, okay?" Sakura said, a concerned look on her face.  
"Ok...later then. You can call if you want, I should be around." Touya knew what she wanted to ask him, and he was already starting to mentally prepare his case.  
"I...I'd rather come over, if that's alright."  
"Sure...if it's that important."  
Sakura's eyes held more than a little worry. "It is..." 


	3. How to Heal

"Mother...I'm going away for awhile." Tomoyo stated plainly.  
Sonomi nodded in understanding. Her daughter had not taken two steps into the house, before she made this statement. "Of course, I know she needs this, and she has my full support in whatever she has to do to heal herself." Sonomi thought. She knew better than to ask about the wedding, or anything having to do with Sakura, for that matter. "Where were you thinking of going?"  
"Well...I've always read about Italy, and how beautiful it is." Tomoyo replied, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I wanted to try my hand at painting as well."  
Sonomi smiled. "Yes, that would suit you beautifully!"  
Tomoyo gave her a little smile in return, before continuing, "I'll be leaving within the week...and I can't say when exactly I'll be back."  
In a flash, Sonomi was off her chair and hugging her daughter. "You're...always the one who kept me so strong! I don't know what life will be like without my precious daughter here...but I want you to do whatever you have to do. Take as much time as you need." Sonomi looked into her daughter's eyes before continuing. "And don't forget to keep me informed about any...new developments." She gave her daughter a knowing smile and wink.  
Tomoyo blushed, stammering, "M-mother!" Composing herself, she giggled a bit as well. "I promise I'll call as often as I can!" She always thought as her mother being the stronger of the two, and this would not be an easy trip for her to take without someone so supportive and loving to talk to.  
Sonomi sighed, whispering to Tomoyo, "My daughter...all grown up, and off to make a life of her own!" Silently, she thought, "I pray you will find someone who you can love, and who loves you, just the way you always wanted to be loved...my dearest daughter."  
  
"Don't you have a honeymoon or something to go on with that ga-err, your husband?" Touya asked, correcting himself. He was really trying to be supportive of his sister and her new husband.  
"Ah, Syaoran has a business meeting to go to; our honeymoon won't be for another few weeks yet..." Sakura replied.  
"If he tries anything..."  
"Onii-chan!" Sakura cried, blushing profusely.  
Yuki could only laugh. Sakura was still naieve in so many ways. Yet...that could hurt others, and maybe now was the time to talk about that. "Sakura-chan, wasn't there something you wanted to ask?"  
"Ah, hai!" Sakura fumbled with the hem of her dress. "I...I was just worried about Tomoyo-chan. With the wedding and everything that's happened lately, I haven't had the time to talk much with her, and I feel bad about that. She just seemed so upset today..."  
Touya grinned. "Did you try asking her what was wrong?"  
"I didn't notice anything wrong until today...something about that song she sang. Besides, she might not admit to me that something's wrong. When we were kids, sometimes she looked upset for no reason...and she wouldn't tell me why." Sakura looked away for a moment. "She's always been my best friend, but, looking back, it was always her that was giving...everything."  
"Why don't you think she'd tell you? Also, why was she always giving to only you?"  
"Onii-chan! I was the one with questions here!" Sakura fumed.  
"Well, don't you think you should have answers to my questions too?" Touya countered. "And you still haven't asked me your question, anyway."  
"My question...was about the song she sang today. She told me it was in English...and I knew you learned that at the university." Sakura put her hand behind her head before continuing. "It was almost like she was singing in secret code to someone...that she wanted someone to hear what she had to say...but, it made her so sad! I just wanted to know what the words meant...she's done so much for me as my best friend...if she's hurting that much, I want to help her!"  
Touya thought he had become pretty good at guessing how Tomoyo felt, as well as the way she thought. "I can't just outright tell her how Tomoyo feels; it's something she has to discover for herself." he thought sadly. "She is married now, and I don't want to be the one to tell her this...if she doesn't reach this conclusion on her own, then maybe she never was meant to know." Touya had been silent for several minutes, before finally speaking. "Have you ever heard Tomoyo talk about her 'special someone'?"  
"Sure, lots of times, especially when we were little!" Sakura replied, remembering their childhood fondly. "She always talked about how much her special person meant to her, but..."  
"But?"  
Sakura sighed. "I never understood it, so I didn't really try to get any more out of her, but she always acted as though she couldn't tell her special someone how she felt. I never understood that...even if the person she loved was in love with someone else, at least by telling him, she wouldn't have it on her mind all the time."  
Touya sighed, thinking, "She really is that dense...maybe I can give her a little push in the right direction." "Sakura...I think the song is about her special person."  
"I...I almost thought it was anyway," Sakura admitted, "since I couldn't think of anything else she'd be so sad about."  
Several more minutes passed by in silence, before Sakura chirped out the question, "What...can I do to help her?"  
Touya was really conflicted at this point. "Sakura...I don't know if you should-"  
Sakura cut him off. "But I have to! She's my best friend!" Tears began to form in her eyes. "How could anyone hurt sweet Tomoyo like that? She's done nothing but be kind and loving to everyone; she doesn't deserve to be alone!" Sakura gripped the sofa she sat on.  
Touya sighed. Taking Sakura's hand in his, he looked into her eyes, and said, "The words in her song were very powerful, Sakura. What if you can't give...find what she needs?"  
"I just want to take away her pain! Whether that means finding her special person and telling him how she feels, or helping her get over this blind person who can't see all the love she has for him, it doesn't matter! I have to show Tomoyo that she has people who do love her! I want to be the friend to her that she's always been to me..."  
Touya hugged his crying sister. "Sakura...I'll think about how we can help Tomoyo, I promise."  
"Arigato, onii-chan." Sakura sniffled.  
"But, you've been her friend for years...you know her better than I do." Touya mentally grimaced at that thought. "Maybe you and Syaoran can come up with a solution."  
Sakura giggled. Her poor husband was never very good with his emotions, much less those of others.  
"And, here, maybe this will help you." Touya said as he handed Sakura a piece of paper scrawled with writing.  
"Hoe?" Sakura questioned.  
"My rough translation of the song Tomoyo sang, maybe it'll give you some insight into how she feels about her special person." Touya got a sheepish look on his face. "My English might be a bit rusty, so forgive the loose translation.  
"Arigato again, onii-chan...you're the best." Sakura smiled.  
  
Later that night, after Sakura had gone home, Touya and Yuki sat by the fireplace.  
Smiling, Yuki remarked, "You handled that conversation really well, To-ya. I hope I get to see that side of you more often!"  
Touya grinned a bit too. Then, laying his head on Yuki's shoulder, his expression became more somber, after coming to the understanding, "No matter what happens...someone will get hurt." Aloud, he scoffed, "What a time that gaki picked to make himself absent...he should have to deal with the kaijuu too!"  
Yuki could only laugh. 


	4. Don't Tell

Tomoyo was frantic. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to talk to Sakura before she left; that she'd just slip quietly out of her life. However, it was the night before her plane was scheduled to leave and she had to physically restrain herself from calling her best friend on the phone at least half a dozen times so far. "I...I know she isn't worried about me...but, I guess I'm afraid of what might happen if she is. What if she's worried about me, and she's sad when I go?" Tomoyo thought, before reminding herself how stupid that sounded. "Don't be silly, how could she be worried or lonely when she has the greatest love of her life by her side?" Tomoyo thought bitterly, hugging a plush bear to her chest as she lay in bed. "You're just being selfish, Tomoyo. Sakura shouldn't have someone around her who's that selfish...she deserves better. And..." she finished her thought in a whisper, "I don't want to cry...any more."  
Tomoyo sighed. Tomorrow was going to be a big day, so she'd better get some rest. Suddenly, there was a knock at her door.  
"Come in."  
"Miss, there's a phone call for you." the maid said, handing Tomoyo the portable phone.  
"Who is it?" Tomoyo asked, a slight look of concern on her face.  
The maid started, "Kinomoto..."  
Tomoyo froze, paralyzed by some unknown fear.  
"...Touya." she finished.  
The lavender haired girl breathed a huge sigh of relief, and gently took the phone from the maid, dismissing her.  
"Touya? To what do I owe the honor of this call?" Tomoyo smiled sweetly. Talking to anyone else besides Sakura was fine with her at this point.  
On the other end of the phone, Touya paused for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully. "Sakura...is very worried about you. She wants to know what's wrong."  
"Sakura? What's wrong?" Tomoyo giggled. "There's nothing wrong...unless it's if she's missing her Li-kun so much already! Those two make such a wonderful couple, don't you think?"  
Touya could plainly see that if he wanted to get anywhere with Tomoyo, he'd have to be a bit more direct. "You know...I really enjoyed that song you sang...at Sakura's wedding."  
"Oh, why thank you! It was in English, but I loved the melody it had." Tomoyo winced at the mere mention of the song; it had run through her head at least once every day since the wedding.  
"Yeah...the melody...listen, Tomoyo. There's something you need to know-" Touya started, but Tomoyo cut him off in mid-sentence.  
"I'm sorry, Touya, but I can't talk any more tonight. I have to take a trip for my mother tomorrow morning, and I'm just dreadful with flying if I'm not well rested!" While not entirely true, Tomoyo didn't want to give anyone a reason to worry about her or come after her. As if they would, anyway.  
"Tomoyo," Touya spoke forcefully into the phone, "one thing, just one thing for you to think about while you're away."  
"Y-yes?" Tomoyo asked hesitantly.  
"I don't think I could have lived with myself if I hadn't told Yuki how I felt."  
Time seemed to slow to an imperceptible crawl. Seconds seemed like minutes. Tomoyo's voice caught in her throught for what seemed like the longest time. "He knows." she thought. "What do I do?"  
"Tomoyo..." Touya's voice seemed gentler.  
"Sa...kura is happy now. She's with...the one she loves. The one she truly loves. The one who truly loves her, more than anyone else could. That is what she deserves; the very best."  
"Tomoyo, I..." Touya tried to interject again, but was bluntly cut off.  
"D-don't tell her...anything...please. I already know how Sakura feels about me. She's the most important thing in the world to me..." Tomoyo gasped, realizing she was crying again. Crying for Sakura. She needed to get away...now. "If I didn't have her as a friend, I don't know what I'd do-"  
Touya sighed. The line had gone dead. He remembered all too well the year and a half he spent hiding his love for Yuki. He remembered clearly how difficult it was for him, every time he was around the other man, to hold back his feelings. "She's been doing that...her whole life. Granted, Yuki never had anyone else vying for his affections, so I guess I never really felt the pressure of competition. Poor Tomoyo...she really does love Sakura more than anyone else."  
Touya groaned. He knew this would keep him up all night. "Even if Tomoyo's right...even if she thinks it'll hurt both her and Sakura if Sakura knows...she shouldn't have to live holding that much hurt inside. I only hope Sakura can see what she couldn't see before..." 


	5. Letter to Myself

Sakura gently closed the door to the apartment she and Syaoran had bought. While sparsely furnished, having a place of their own to call home really made her feel married. Bound to something. Something that would never leave her.  
Careful not to wake up Kero, Sakura tip-toed through the living room, and into her bedroom. After some prodding, Syaoran had agreed to letting Kero stay with them, under the condition that he didn't eat them out of house and home. Kero was just happy to stay by his master's side...all the extra food was just a nice bonus.  
Sitting down at her desk, Sakura took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Oh yeah," she thought, "the song translation." Reaching for the paper, she thought better of it, and first brought out a portable CD player. Putting in the recording of Tomoyo's song, and playing it, she read along with the lyrics that her best friend sang.  
Sakura sniffed, wiping her eyes gently. The real meaning of the words gave the song that much more impact. "How...how long has she felt this way?" Sakura could only wonder. She replayed the memories she had of her and Tomoyo together, and the lavender haired girl was rarely without her smile in all of them. Why would she have a reason to be sad?  
Sakura kicked herself. "Tomoyo's human, just like everyone else. Just because I'm so...so...shallow...that I don't ask her how she's feeling...doesn't mean that she doesn't hurt!" The realization of this fact hit Sakura. "What do I even know about her? Really, about Tomoyo, the person? About my best friend?" Sakura lay her head on the desk, shaking slightly.  
"How much has Tomoyo done for you? All the support, every kindness, and anything she did did nothing but build you up and strengthen you." Sakura grimaced, but her subconscious continued. "What did you ever do for her?"  
"But," Sakura coutnered, "she was always happy around me, so I didn't see anything wrong. Besides...she is my best friend!"  
"How do you know?"  
"I don't have to know..she just is. Just because I didn't make costumes for her, tape her every move, or constantly shower her with praise, doesn't mean I love her any less!"  
The voice in Sakura's mind sneered. "That's just like you...always assuming everything is alright...why didn't you ever try asking her?"  
"But...I did..."  
"Oh, please! If you had really meant it, she would have answered you honestly!"  
Sakura bit her lip, not wanting to continue, but wanting answers all the same. "Re...regardless...even if that's all true...and I have been a horrible friend...I know she's hurting now..."  
"What can you do?"  
"I can be there for her!" Sakura sat upright.  
"Yes, I can! I can help her!" Sakura whispered excitedly. Despite the tears in her eyes, she felt a new wave of energy rush through her. Now that she knew exactly how Tomoyo felt, she could help her. Help her...to find her special someone. That's the only thing that would truly make Tomoyo happy.  
Sakura decided to write a letter to Tomoyo's special person. Despite not knowing who he was, that was a minor obstacle for her. She had more than a few things she wanted to say to this guy, this guy who, it seemed, Tomoyo had known all her life. Someone she was around often, who she had to hide her feelings from, for some reason.  
"Alright, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura sniffed, but smiled all the same. "I promise, I won't let you down!"  
Sakura paused thoughtfully for a few moments before beginning:  
  
To the one who holds Tomoyo-chan's heart,  
First of all, I don't know who you are. But, that doesn't matter. What matters is my best friend, her feelings. Can't you see?! Tomoyo Daidouji loves you! She loves you more than life itself! Every day her heart cries out for you, yet for some reason she doesn't speak about it! All she can do is give this love she has for you to her friends...there is no greater love, I can tell you that for sure!  
Gomenasai...I got carried away. She just hurts so much...if you know her, how can you not see the love she has for you? She has such a beautiful, alive spirit, and I just know she could make you happier than anyone else! Please...hear what she has to say...it hurts her...and me...to see her in so much pain.  
Gomenasai, if you are already in a relationship...I beg you to at least talk to Tomoyo, if for nothing else than to at least hear what she has to say. I know she wants so desperately to tell you how she feels; even if she says she'd be happiest if the one she loved was happy...even if the one she loved was with someone else...I can't accept that. She's too beautiful and loving and...frail...an angel to be chained by the bonds of pain.  
Please, I ask you, talk to her. She loves you. Really and truly loves you. More than anything else, she loves you. You are...all that matters to her.  
  
Sincerely,  
A concerned friend  
  
Sakura took a deep breath as she finished. There was so much more she could have said...but she didn't want this person to feel like Sakura was attacking him. She didn't quite understand, though. It felt somehow...strange...to be talking about her best friend in this way. She was shocked at the language she used, and how...beautiful...it actually sounded.  
"Tomoyo-chan...I will find a way to make you happy." Sakura silently promised her best friend. She slipped the letter into a pale envelope, enscribing "Tomoyo-chan's Special Person" on the front, and sealed it.  
"I'll give this to Onii-chan to hold onto later...at least until I find Tomoyo's special person..."  
  
The sun's first rays crept up over the horizon as the jet liner streaked into the sky. Upon closer inspection, a tiny pair of pale, plum eyes could be seen peering out at the rainbow colored horizon. Tear-free eyes...  
But not without a heart hiding broken, but cherished, memories of her lost cherry blossom... 


	6. Memories of Italy

Well, if anyone's still reading this...you sure are persistent . But, you know, that's how inspiration and whatnot goes .-

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Daidouji." The baggage clerk apologized profusely, wringing his hands. "It seems as though your luggage was rerouted to Madagascar."

Tomoyo flipped quickly through her Italian-Japanese dictionary, trying to piece together what the man just said. She managed to make out 'luggage' and 'lost' before she understood. "Very well." She sighed, pulling out a piece of paper. "Please bring them here when they arrive."

The clerk took the paper and nodded quickly, bowing awkwardly.

The violet haired girl sat down in the middle of the crowded airport, trying to gather her wits. "Okay...so my luggage is lost. No big deal, at least I still have my purse." Tomoyo thought. Her purse. A gift from Sakura...

"Stop this." She reprimanded herself. "This is supposed to be a trip of healing, not of remembering. Not right now..." Tomoyo stood up, and gracefully walked out of the airport.

Hailing the first taxi she could find in halting Italian, Tomoyo paid the driver in advance, and sat down wearily in the back of the cab.

Half an hour later they were speeding through the countryside, now clear of the urban sprawl. It was then that Tomoyo looked out the window, and saw the beautiful Italian countryside once more. As a child, she had joined her mother on several business trips to this country, and she remembered fondly the effect the atmosphere had on her. It was where she had first discovered painting, and how much she loved it. It was also there where she had picked up her limitied knowledge of the Italian language. She leaned back, closing her eyes and remembering her first time to this beautiful country.

_"Miss Tomoyo, remember, we have to be back at the hotel by six pm to meet your mother for dinner." One of the dark haired girl's bodyguards reminded her._

_"Hai, I know. I just want to see what's around here." Tomoyo replied, before continuing to walk down the cobblestone street. She smiled at the other people walking down the street, who returned her smile with worried glances. She sighed. Being followed around by bodyguards all the time could give people such a bad impression._

_Turning down a side street, the sight of the simple country life, children playing in the street, mothers hanging laundry out on the line, fathers reclining in chairs on porches, languishing in the evening sun; this must be where peace comes from._

_"Stop!" Tomoyo froze, as the voice was so insistent. She looked behind her, and saw a young woman approaching her. A long, brown coat, violet sweater, red scarf, and blue beret adorned her, and she carried at her side a large, black bag._

_"Yes, can I help you?" Tomoyo asked, turning to face the stranger._

_"Umm, I have a favor to ask, if it's not too much trouble." The figure said, reaching into her black bag._

_Tomoyo was instantly surrounded by three menacing bodyguards in black suits. The woman took a step back in worry._

_"Hold on a minute." Tomoyo sighed. "It's okay, I'm fine." She said to her three protectors, who grudgingly stepped out of her way. Tomoyo walked up to the woman. "I'm very sorry; they follow me wherever I go; it really does get to be bothersome." She signed once more, more exasperated than last time._

_The woman put her hand to her lips, giggling. "It's alright...you just don't normally see people being escorted by bodyguards in this area. You also don't see such beautiful girls."_

_Tomoyo felt the faint tint of a blush at her cheeks._

_"Anyway...I just have to ask, if you have the I please paint your picture?"_

_"Paint...me?"_

_"Sure..." the artist replied, taking out an easel and canvas. "...that is, if you have the time, Miss..."_

_"Tomoyo, that's my name...and if half an hour is enough time, then by all means, go ahead."_

_"It'll have to do...you're just too cute a model to pass up!" the woman exclaimed, rummaging through her black bag. "You need something more, though...a certain prop..." She looked through the bag for several minutes longer, before becoming fed up. "Argh, where is it?!" she growled, hastily dumping everything on the road. Balls, hats, gloves, and other odds and ends scattered onto the street. Finally, she spied what she wanted._

_"Here, hold this, with your hands just as such..." the woman instructed, handing Tomoyo a white umbrella adorned with white ribbons and pearls._

_"Oh....this is beautiful!" Tomoyo exclaimed. She twirled with the umbrella, her light violet dress catching the wind and flaring up gracefully._

_"Not as beautiful as you, my dear." The artist smiled, setting up her easel and canvas. "Now, I just need you to find a pose and hold it."_

_Tomoyo stopped her twirling, coming to rest holding the umbrella with both hands, back to the artist, gently glancing over her shoulder. "How's this?"_

_"Perfect! Now just hold that pose, my angel."_

_Tomoyo blushed again. No one had ever complimented her on her looks the way this woman had been._

_While she painted, the woman told Tomoyo all about Italy. All about the places to go, the things to do, and the sights to see._

_"Do you paint...for a living?" Tomoyo asked._

_"For a living..." the woman laughed. "Well, I do try, dear. I only moved here a year ago myself, and the local arts community is slow to accept newcomers, especially those as young as me."_

_"How old are you?"_

_"17...and, no, I didn't run away from home, if that's what you're wondering."_

_"Oh, no!" Tomoyo assured her. "I was just wondering why you came here, of all places. You do seem to love it..."_

_"Yes, yes I do love it. I guess, I don't know..." the woman's brush strokes stopped for a few moments. "It's like...in order to forget one thing you loved, you have to fill your life with another thing you love...and hope the latter is enough to fill the void the former left."_

_"Oh..." was all Tomoyo could manage. This sounded all too familiar._

_"Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't ask you to be my therapist or anything, I just have this habit of sharing way too much with people who I've only just met!" the woman giggled, continuing to paint._

_"It's alright, I don't mind." Tomoyo said. "It sounds like...you loved this person a great deal."_

_The woman smiled faintly. "You're probably the most perceptive child I've ever met...how'd you know that?"_

_Tomoyo smiled, a different sort of smile this time, and the woman noticed the change in her facial features. Almost a sad, wistful smile. "I have a friend...who went through the same thing." She admitted, and it wasn't a lie. Though, it wasn't the whole truth, either._

_"If you don't mind my asking, how old are you, miss Tomoyo?"_

_"13."_

_"Ah...well, I'm just about finished with the first draft here, but if you'd like, you could come by and look at the final version tomorrow." She looked at her watch. "Yes, you should get going before you're late for dinner."_

_"How'd you know about that?"_

_"I have good ears." The woman giggled. "Anyway, come by this address tomorrow evening, if you're free!" She handed Tomoyo a piece of paper with a scribbled address on it. Tomoyo started to hand the umbrella back to the woman, who politely put up her hand. "It's supposed to rain tomorrow...little angels shouldn't get wet."_

_"Ah...thank you, miss..."_

_The woman fell over. "Oh dear, I'm so rude! Forgive me, my name is Takano Kiisha!"_

_"Hai, miss Kiisha, tomorrow it is, then!" Tomoyo smiled, twirling the umbrella in her hands and skipping down the street._

_Takaro looked on, giggling as the bodyguards followed the violet haired girl at a distance._

_"It's...it's beautiful!" Tomoyo gasped, blushing._

_"Aww...it's not that great." Takano insisted._

_Tomoyo stared in awe. The lifelikeness of the image, the way Takaro made the light and shadows dance off her fluttering dress, the way the umbrella gently cast a shadow on her pale face. She was going to be something wonderful some day. The picture. It made Tomoyo want to..._

_"Excuse me...I'm sorry, I don't want to be a bother...but do you think I could...try?" Tomoyo ventured_

_"Try? You mean...you want to paint?" Takano asked._

_The younger girl nodded vehemently._

_"Sure...you mean right now?"_

_Tomoyo nodded once more. She couldn't describe the feeling that was taking over her. It was...unreal._

_"Here, then." Takano cheerfully set up an easel and canvas for Tomoyo, and handed her her paints and brushes. "You get started, and I'll go get another for myself."_

_"Thank...thank you." Tomoyo gasped. She looked around, taking in the beauty of the area for the first time. It really was a simple life...much more simple than her own, and she absolutely adored that. Brush met paint, then canvas. Despite being a novice, the blank canvas did not scare the violet haired girl. She had an image in her mind, or at least a person...now she just needed an ensemble to go with._

_"Ah..." Tomoyo thought. Long, brown coat, red scarf, violet sweater, blue beret...she hoped Takano wouldn't mind. It was such a cute outfit, after all._

_"Miss Tomoyo, I meant to ask you...where did you get that beautiful dress you were wearing yesterday?"_

_"I made it."_

_"You made it? That beautiful dress?!"_

_Tomoyo smiled again, her wistful smile. "I've had a lot of practice."_

_Takano stole a sideways glance at Tomoyo's painting. Emerald eyes, peach skin...a large smile. "You seem to have a natural talent for this!"_

_"Thank you." Tomoyo shifted momentarily. "Do you think...I could see some more of your paintings later?"_

_"My paintings? Well, sure, I guess. My place is really really really messy though, I have to warn you. I just haven't had time to clean up, and I've been so busy lately..." Takano rambled on._

_Tomoyo giggled. "It's alright, I don't mind."_

Tomoyo smiled gently. "I was at her apartment until 11 pm that night, and Mother was furious by the time I returned to the hotel." She thought for a moment. "I wonder if Takano's still around..." She felt the taxi roll to a stop, and was shaken from her daydream. She stepped out of the cab, and looked over her new home. An old apartment building, though she would prefer the term 'rustic', certainly far under what she could spend on rent.

"But...this suits me, somehow." Tomoyo thought, smiling a bit. "A new start...for a new life."

She stepped forward, and continued walking towards the apartment entrance, each step trying to take her into the future, yet still burdened with the experiences of the past. She knew it wouldn't be that way forever, though.


	7. Wanting to help, but not being able to

Sonomi sighed in frustration. She felt helpless, keeping secrets that hurt her only daughter. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, but Tomoyo isn't here right now."

"Not...here? She's out somewhere?" Sakura frowned, picnic basket swaying gently in her grasp.

"_If anyone asks...just say I'm...I don't know, getting my masters degree in Italy. And, if Sakura-chan asks...tell her I'm on vacation._"

"Yes..." Sonomi recalled, "she's...on vacation."

"Oh, darn...do you know when she'll be back?"

"I really can't say, Sakura-chan, dear." Sonomi explained, then went a little too far. "Something seems to have upset her...I think she just needs some time alone."

"Why's she upset?" Sakura asked in earnest.

"Oh, great, I said too much." Sonomi grimaced inwardly. "I honestly don't know, Sakura-chan...I just think she needs time alone to sort out her feelings."

"Yeah...I guess I saw that too, at least at my wedding...she seemed so sad for a moment." Sakura remembered sadly. "I...just wanted to talk to her...to see if there's any way I could help."

Sonomi put her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I'd give her some time, Sakura-chan. Sometimes, these things have a way of working themselves out in time..."

"Hai, if you say so, Ms. Sonomi." Sakura managed a small smile, before turning and walking back down the brick path, shoulders slightly slumped in defeat. Turning briefly, she added, "Um, if you do happen to talk to her, please give her my love, and that I'm thinking of her."

"I will...Sakura-chan, I will." Sonomi promised, watching the young woman leave the premises. She turned, noticing the two pictures on the hallway table. Pictures of the two most important women in her life. Looking all too similar.

"...but, usually, these things don't work themselves out." She thought, tearing up. She touched the picture of Nadeshiko. "We can't all be happy. Ne, Nadeshiko-chan?" Then, she touched the picture of her lavender haired daughter. "We can't all hide our true feelings forever..."

Sakura kicked a few pebbles on the sidewalk as she waited for the bus to arrive. "Where could she have gone? She'd always tell me if she was going away somewhere...why not now?"

_"You weren't paying any attention to her...why should she pay any to you?"_ the little voice in her head prodded.

"I was too! It's just, the wedding had me so busy!" Sakura countered.

_"Just admit it...you were used to it."_

"I..."

_"You were used to it, so when it wasn't there at your beck and call, you panicked."_

"Best friends...are always there for each other." Sakura reminded herself gently. "Does she not want me to be there for her now...?"

_"Sakura-chan, you're too kawaii!"_

_"This dress would look absolutely beautiful on you, Sakura-chan! You have to let me dress you!"_

_"Sometimes we all have to cry, Sakura-chan. Even if it hurts."_

_"You know I'll always be here for you if you need me, Sakura-chan. Always."_

Sakura sighed, putting a hand to her cheek. "If someone as truly wonderful as Tomoyo-chan is hurting, then it IS up to me to make her feel better. Because she's been so very important to me."

Just then, the bus pulled up to the curb. Sakura stepped into the doorway with a bounce. She reminded herself to give herself more pep talks; they always seemed to quiet the nagging voice in her head when she talked about how wonderful her best friend was.

Turning her thoughts to other matters, namely her and Syaoran's new apartment in the city, Sakura grimaced. Boxes upon boxes of belongings were piled high in every room, and she had taken it upon herself to have everything unpacked and put away by the time her husband returned, so that they could go on their honeymoon worry-free. "I didn't realize I had so many things!!!" Sakura giggled. "I guess I am kind of a pack rat."

However, all work and no play made for a very dull (and sometimes dangerous) Sakura. Pulling out her cell phone in an attempt to get her social life kick started, at least until she found a teaching position, Sakura dialed the phone number of a dear, brown eyed friend, who had also recently moved into the area.


	8. Cafe By The Dock

Tomoyo growled. Which, if one knew Tomoyo, knew that it was something she tended not to do. She sat on a stool, easel and canvas opposite her, and strained for inspiration. Inspiration wasn't supposed to be this hard to find.

The evening sun dipped low on the horizon, casting reflections of orange, purple, and deep scarlet across the bay waters, but the violet haired heiress felt strangely unmoved. Something was different this time. Something was...missing.

Tomoyo threw her paintbrush onto the ground in disgust. She sighed, and gazed at the evening sky.

"Excuse me, young lady...I don't think that's the proper way to use this."

Tomoyo looked around in surprise, and saw an old man holding her paintbrush. A thick crop of white hair shot from his head in an almost comical manner, and squinty eyes peered past bushy eyebrows.

"Do you paint, little lady?"

Tomoyo blushed. "I...I'd like to. I just can't concentrate for some reason."

The old man smiled. "Happens to the best of us, I assure you. Maybe it might help to be around others...?"

"Other...painters?"

"Sure." The man said, extending his hand. "I run a local café for authors, painters...anyone in a creative pursuit, they can come to my café and feel at ease."

"I guess it wouldn't do to have myself all shut out here." Tomoyo surmised. "Very well, I'd be delighted to join you! Mr...?"

"Nathaniel. Pleased to meet you, Miss..."

"Tomoyo."

"Ah, I thought you looked fairly Japanese. A Japanese princess, as it were." Nathaniel smiled. "Ah, you'll have to forgive me...in my younger days, I would have gone after you with all the tenacity of a wildcat!"

"I'm sure you would have!" Tomoyo smiled. What an odd fellow. Odd, but pleasant. She hoped more people at the café would be as such.

If Tomoyo had to think of one word to describe Nathaniel's café, it would be 'cozy'. A large fireplace lined one entire wall, and small, wooden tables with vanilla colored tablecloths filled the center of the room, leaving the outer walls for artists and their set-ups. An old oak piano sat in one corner of the room, practically begging to be played.

"Please...make yourself at home, Miss Princess!" Nathaniel smiled, taking up his usual position behind the bar.

Tomoyo took a seat at one of the tables, placing her painting gear down beside her. More than a few eyes turned her way, and it took a few minutes before someone finally approached her.

"Hey...new here?" Tomoyo looked at the young man who had spoken. Sandy colored hair fell gently past aqua eyes, and a curious pair of midnight blue goggles perched on top of his head.

"You could say that...flyboy." Tomoyo returned.

The young man laughed. "Haha...flyboy? You got me all wrong, miss...I do what they do, only without the plane."

"Without a plane, you'd most certainly fall, flyboy."

"That's the general idea...I fall until the little voice in my head tells me to not kill myself, then I pull my chute."

"That's a pretty smart voice there, flyboy. Keep listening to it." Tomoyo giggled.

"I would, but sometimes the voice gets me into trouble. Like right now...it's telling me to buy you a drink, while you tell me what brought you to this little place."

Tomoyo eyed the young man inquisitively. "Go right ahead, I won't stop you." She had never met people this...different before. She had always prided herself on how well she understood and read people, but the people in this town were...something else. She wanted to know what this something else was.

The young man returned shortly thereafter. "Non-alcoholic...hope you're not offended." He smiled. "The ol' bartender doesn't want me corrupting you for some reason."

"How lovely."

"So, let's hear your story." He folded his arms and laid his head down, watching Tomoyo intently.

"There's not really much to say...you know...mysterious stranger from another country, come to run away from it all." Tomoyo giggled hollowly. As she suspected, the young man didn't believe her.

"Hah...a new life, is it then?"

"Yes...completely new."

"Well, you're bound to attract more than your fair share of attention here. Especially from people looking for...models..."

"Oh dear, I'm really not the modeling type...I prefer to be on the other side of the camera...or canvas, as it were." Tomoyo informed him, sipping at her cool drink.

"Well, I might have a friend...you seem like her type..."

"Her...type?" Tomoyo couldn't help but blush.

The young man howled with laughter. He banged the table a few times, startling Tomoyo, who looked around nervously at the stares the two of them were getting. "Shush already! What's so funny?!" She whispered fiercely.

"Haha...ahh...you'll have to ask herself if she thinks you're her type in THAT way...I meant her type of model." The young man smiled, running a hand through his hair casually. "You're a real trip, you know that? Way too serious for your own good!"

Tomoyo hmphed, folding her arms. She turned and looked away from the young man.

"Oh, come on now!" The young man leaned over the table. "I was just joking!" He got out of his chair and knelt down in front of her. "My dear..." he proclaimed, taking her hand in his, "...I do not care if there are others present. I will never be happy until you grace me with your smile once more. Please forgive any trespasses I have made; I assure you they were fully made in the fevered passion we here call 'love'".

Tomoyo couldn't help but crack a smile. "You're not funny, you know that?"

"Yes, yes I know. And I also know that I must get out of here now, before old Nathan over there accuses me of trying to take advantage of you."

"Very well...I guess I'll see you around, you seem to be the hard-to-miss type."

"As are you, miss..."

"Tomoyo."

"Ah, the beautiful name of the beautiful foreigner who has swept me off my feet!" The young man stood up, putting the goggles over his eyes. Saluting Tomoyo smartly, he added, "Devon Kyle, at your service!"

Tomoyo gave him an awkward salute of her own, and watched him bound out the café door.

"What a...peculiar fellow...so full of..." Tomoyo thought, grasping for the right word. "Life? Innocence? Happiness?" They all fit. Now, where had she found those qualities last? "...oh."

Tomoyo clenched her fists slightly. "I don't know...if she needed me, I'd know it somehow. In the meantime, I have to find my own life." Deciding to call it a day, Tomoyo picked up her bag, and went to the bar to thank Nathaniel.

"My pleasure, miss princess. And, hopefully, if that young man didn't frighten you too much, we'll see you back here again soon!"

"It's a safe bet." Tomoyo assured him. She waved slightly, and departed from the café, the bells tinkling softly on the door as it shut.

The sun was just setting as the lavender haired woman walked briskly through the evening streets. Tomoyo made a mental note of how cold it got in the evening, and reminded herself to bring a jacket next time she went out. She held her head high, and closed her eyes, feeling the wind softly tussle her hair about.

"Oh...oh dear, not again!" a far off voice cried out. Tomoyo barely heard it, but as she continued walking, it came closer and closer.

Tomoyo turned a street corner, and ran headlong into something moving very fast in the opposite direction. Papers scattered everywhere, and Tomoyo fell backwards, landing on her side.

The voice, clearly now a woman's voice, sighed. "Ouchie...this really isn't my day."


End file.
